I am the very model of a proper Evangelical,
In doctrine I assure you I am absolutely biblical:
I’m justified by faith and not my own achievement practical,
For to the teaching of the Lord that’s clearly quite inimical.
The Bible is the word of God and nothing humanistical,
It’s understood with common sense, and not with meanings mystical.
About imputed righteousness I’m teeming with a lot of views—
In none of which the Nine and Thirty Articles will be abused.
I utterly repudiate succession apostolical
As mediæval myth that’s evidently unhistorical.
In short in matters doctrinal, discipline and worshipful,
I am the very model of a proper Evangelical.

A bishop’s just a presbyter with more responsibility,
(Though understanding this seems quite beyond their capability)
For presbyters and laymen share in government quite equally,
I’ll even give the Queen a share and not react horrifically.
Now ‘Father’ is a title I find frankly insupportable
But call me Mister Wainwright and you’ll find me quite approachable.
Girdles, albs and lavabos are imports unendurable—
And please don’t even mention that demonic thing, a thurible!
Expository preaching is my way of being pastoral,
And once I’m in the pulpit I become (let’s face it) masterful.
In short in matters worshipful, discipline and doctrinal,
I am the perfect picture of a proper Evangelical.

I never wear that popish rag the high church call a chasuble,
A surplice and a scarf is all the cloth of which I’m capable.
I sing the hymns of Wesley and the psalms in settings metrical,
But never lift my hands aloft because it isn’t biblical.
The Greeks can call it ‘eucharist’, in English it’s Communion,
And Morning Prayer can edify as much, in my opin-i-on.
When these ideas alone are my evangelistic strategy—
You’ll say there is no purer evangelic genealogy!
The rubrics of the Prayer Book are acceptable criteria,
While charismatic outbursts are but self-induced hysteria.
In short in matters worshipful, discipline and doctrinal,
I am the very model of a proper Evangelical.

© Philip Wainwright

Imprimatur: the Rt Revd Kenneth Price

You can substitute ‘state’ for ‘queen’ if you like, but it’s not very Anglican. The Supreme Governor is a person, not an institution.

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